When I am in a good mood, or I am feeling very inspired, I have this desire to do back flips around the room like a Olympic gold medalist, or sing a powerful song and hit every note perfectly, or paint a masterpiece! But, if I tried to do a back flip I would break my neck, if I tried to sing like I was on American Idol I would make people’s ears bleed, and if I tried to paint a masterpiece I would draw a stick person and call it a day. Within me does not lay the soul of a gymnast. Within me lay the soul of a writer.
Admitting this to myself does not mean that I am a prodigy or that I am, or will ever become, an amazing writer. It just means that I am honoring the desire that is in my heart. The kid that would spend hours in her local library, who would annotate poetry for fun, the kid who would have emotional attachments to pencils, whose favorite smell was the pages of a new book, she’s someone who deserves to be honored.
These beating hearts that we all have, they beat for something, they beat so that we may hear the rhythm of their questions, “Who are you?” “How will you be her?” “Who will you be her with?” And with any answer comes the rhythm of their direction, “Feel no shame.” “Be not embarrassed.” “Be not discouraged by self truths.” In the absence of self- condemnation comes a beauty that is too deep to ever be damaged by the evils we encounter everyday, or even the evils that are innate in our complex minds. This beauty is an eternal light within life’s unpredictable pattern of light and dark. This is the beauty that I am striving for.
So when I feel inspired I will write back flips with my words, I will create harmonies with my metaphors, I will paint a masterpiece with my insight. I will write.