One vs. Two 

Perspective one: I can not be powerless to a higher power. If I want something to come into being it is all in my hands. If you love something, squeeze tight and don’t ever let go.

Perspective two: I am in the loving care of a higher power wiser than I. To allow what is supposed to happen, let go of the need for control and knowledge of the future. If you love something set it free. 

Perspective one: Sleep becomes a privilege. Sleep when you are satisfied. Life comes second to loud cyclical thoughts. Expect an anxiety attack if something doesn’t go your way.

Perspective two: Sleep is a human necessity. Sleep in the company of self validated human emotion. Having a life all my own must be priority. If things don’t go my way simply say “it is what it is, there is something else in store”.

Perspective one: I am a ten year old child living on the fault line of my parents unstable and unpredictable marriage and my fathers mental illness. I am powerless to that as a higher power. If I need something I must fight like hell until I get it. And once I have it I will never let go. Sleep is scarce due to the late night arguments my parents have. Thoughts spin. What is normal? Anxiety is a survival mechanism. A natural response to my environment. Powerlessness is a death sentence.

Perspective two: I am a 20 year old women living on her own with the support of good friends and a select few family memebers including my brother and my aunt. I am finally learning to trust a higher power. I am loosening the grip I hold on life in all aspects. I fall asleep to cartoons, guided meditation or simply the opalescent glow of the moon. Learning to live in harmony with my mind is key. Identifying key values such as the importance of integrity and the pure forms of love help build who I am.

Livy have faith. Have faith. Find beauty in what is uncontrollable because it is there that happiness and the true adventures of life are born.

~Liv

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