This Girl is Me ~SJ

In 7th grade she looked at her body in a way she never had before. She would notice her looks, her weight, and what all she was eating. 8th grade year she started to try and make changes to it by eating healthier and working out a little more. By her freshman year she wanted to do anything to lose weight. So she cut down on food and tried to eat less. But her parents eventually noticed and so it wasn’t hard for her to just stop. She got back to eating normally and didn’t really think about her body as much anymore. So sophomore year was a good year and she started cross country and was just feeling better about herself. Then junior year came.

It all came back and 10 times worse. She became so much more aware of her body and what she ate and what it would do to her. She eventually stopped eating breakfast. Then slowly stopped eating lunch. She wanted to skip dinner too but she knew her parents would suspect something so she forced herself to eat that one time of the day. But then she started to eat less and less at dinner and he parents asked if she was okay. She said everything was fine and she just hadn’t been that hungry. She thought that she had an amazing idea even though she knew it was wrong and not normal at all, but she decided to do it anyways. She started to purge after she ate dinner. She thought it was the best because she could eat pretty much anything she wanted and all she had to do was go purge it once she was done eating so she didn’t gain those calories and the weight from it. As all of this was going on she was still running cross country and when that season ended she started competitive volleyball. So she was always exhausted.

Then once just purging her dinner didn’t do much for her anymore and she started to become addicted to purging, at her worst, she would purge 3 times a day and still be eating barely anything. This all just also made her so depressed and not wanting to do anything. She just wanted to be skinny and that’s all she thought about. Eventually one day she broke down and told her friends everything she had been doing because she knew it wasn’t right. She begged them not to tell anyone because she wasn’t ready to talk to her parents about it but they told her councilor anyways. And she had called her parents to let them know what was going on. When her parents came home from work that day and confronted her she regretted telling her friends anything and didn’t want help at all. But eventually she realized that’s what she really needed. And she needed a lot of help. So her mom found a therapist that specialized in eating disorders and she started to go to her once a week. Then when school was over, for some reason everything got even worse and nothing was working that well. Probably because she didn’t want to get better in her mind. So her parents didn’t know what else to do so they had to admit her into the brook where she stayed inpatient for a week and had to do a month of outpatient. When this happened she was determined to get better so people didn’t worry about her and she didn’t get sent there again. So when she got discharged from brook completely her mom found a group that met once a week with others teenage girls just like her. So she started to go there every week along with her personal therapist once a week as well. Even though she still is struggling to fully recover today she is trying her best. And this girl is me.