What a Freakin’ Miracle

I have made it known in previous posts that I have low self esteem and have decided to work on it. While doing so I often reflect on the reasons why it is the way it is… so fragile and weak. It was never any question that part of the reason my self esteem is and has been so low is because of my father and his abusive tendencies during my childhood.  The fact that he was so abusive was something that I had a hard time processing as I have continued to heal. It was confusing because the abuse came from a place of mental illness and not from his character. As a child and young adolescent, that was nearly impossible to understand, but yet the process of trying to started when I was about 13. Continue reading “What a Freakin’ Miracle”

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My Message of Love

Facebook is filled with links to articles that talk about love and relationships. Oftentimes, these articles are in the form of checklists. “If it’s real love then your relationship has these 10 things”. “If he really loves you then he will do these 15 things”. “Your relationship will fail if you say these 9 things”. Continue reading “My Message of Love”

Just a Little Quiet

I have this really strong urge to go somewhere secluded. In the mountains, maybe. Where the tree canopies and the sunsets make my shallow, habitual need for constant entertainment obsolete. I would live in a shack where the natural cross breeze would act as my air conditioning and the rays of the sun would act as my heat. If I was bored I would visit my bookshelf, full of american classics and poetry, and choose something to read for the day. Or, I would grab my camera and go for a hike. I want to be able to put my phone down and listen to whatever thoughts I’m trying to ignore every time I scroll through a news feed, or hit the play button on Netflix. Continue reading “Just a Little Quiet”

August 5th

August 5th is my birthday and an official start to a new year for me. I think that out of all my years on this earth, although few, I am most grateful for this one. However, I would be lying if I didn’t say … this year was a total BITCH. Continue reading “August 5th”