Eating Disorders and Fashion

When you first see the title of this blog post, I’m sure the image that comes to mind is an emaciated yet 6 foot tall runway model. But I promise you that this post is about something different. There are thousands of articles online that have to do with the fashion and runway industry and the social correlation of eating disorders, so I am not going to write about that. And honestly I really, really don’t want to.  Continue reading “Eating Disorders and Fashion”

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One vs. Two 

Perspective one: I can not be powerless to a higher power. If I want something to come into being it is all in my hands. If you love something, squeeze tight and don’t ever let go.

Perspective two: I am in the loving care of a higher power wiser than I. To allow what is supposed to happen, let go of the need for control and knowledge of the future. If you love something set it free.  Continue reading “One vs. Two “

Decisions Decisions

I am not an analytical human being. I am an highly expressive human being that is sometimes ruled by her emotions. I used to get defensive about this fact (when I say “used to” I mean yesterday) but today made me feel differently about it. Continue reading “Decisions Decisions”

What a Freakin’ Miracle

I have made it known in previous posts that I have low self esteem and have decided to work on it. While doing so I often reflect on the reasons why it is the way it is… so fragile and weak. It was never any question that part of the reason my self esteem is and has been so low is because of my father and his abusive tendencies during my childhood.  The fact that he was so abusive was something that I had a hard time processing as I have continued to heal. It was confusing because the abuse came from a place of mental illness and not from his character. As a child and young adolescent, that was nearly impossible to understand, but yet the process of trying to started when I was about 13. Continue reading “What a Freakin’ Miracle”

Y’ALL DO NOT EVEN KNOW

To be completely honest with you, I am currently reading a book about the nature of self esteem and how to improve it. And, no matter how cheesy this book can get, and no matter how tedious the exercises they have me do seem, this shit is legit. At first, I felt ashamed when people saw what I was reading, but now, I feel like I want to hold this book up in the air in the middle of a crowd and yell “Y’ALL DO NOT EVEN KNOW HOW ENLIGHTENED I CURRENTLY FEEL!”  Continue reading “Y’ALL DO NOT EVEN KNOW”

Just a Little Quiet

I have this really strong urge to go somewhere secluded. In the mountains, maybe. Where the tree canopies and the sunsets make my shallow, habitual need for constant entertainment obsolete. I would live in a shack where the natural cross breeze would act as my air conditioning and the rays of the sun would act as my heat. If I was bored I would visit my bookshelf, full of american classics and poetry, and choose something to read for the day. Or, I would grab my camera and go for a hike. I want to be able to put my phone down and listen to whatever thoughts I’m trying to ignore every time I scroll through a news feed, or hit the play button on Netflix. Continue reading “Just a Little Quiet”

August 5th

August 5th is my birthday and an official start to a new year for me. I think that out of all my years on this earth, although few, I am most grateful for this one. However, I would be lying if I didn’t say … this year was a total BITCH. Continue reading “August 5th”